Let's face it, I'm not going to write in Ye Olde El Jay anymore. It's kind of run its course and I've moved on to greener pastures, namely my new blog over at http://www.knitstitchrun.blogspot.com. (It's about, SURPRISE, knitting, stitching, and running, among other things. ALSO! That boy I mentioned in my last entry? Still going strong, coming up on a year and a half. I want to marry him and have his beautiful, beautiful babies.) I have been reading my flist here regularly, each and every day, I just don't feel the same inclination I once did to post here.

So, here's to you, Livejournal. I will look back with fond memories, and forward with... Blogger. I'm sorry it had to end this way.

(Seriously folks, please do check out my blog. I aim to update at least 3 times a week, and I'll try to make it worth your while.)

(If any of YOU have blogs, please to let me know! I like blogs ver' much.)

I had an AMAZING date last night. Seriously, amazing.

Okay, when I first got back into the online dating scene, I had signed up for eHarmony. It.... wasn't going very well. There was a flurry of activity at the start, and then it just sort of ground to a halt, and I haven't seen anyone I'm really interested in meeting in well over a month. So on Katie's recommendation, I signed up for a free site. And within one day, I had found two guys who sounded really great.

One, I will talk about later, because I have a date with him on Friday, and it's quite a story.

The other I met last night. And I really, really, really like the guy.

We met up at the Brewpub, and it was a little awkward at first, as blind dates usually are. And then, out of nowhere, the floodgates just opened, and both of us were yapping all evening. I can't even remember most of what we talked about--just stupid shit. We shared drinking stories, crazy family stories (he's Catholic. His family is a lot bigger than mine. He's got a lot of crazy family stories.), growing-up stories, all sorts of stuff. He almost made me choke and die when he told me he used to refer to one of his coworkers as the Dysentery Fairy. (Say it out loud, I promise you'll at least giggle.) And the hours just slipped away. We met at 7... at 9:30 I vaguely registered that it had gotten dark. At 10:30 he noticed that nearly everyone else was gone; we checked the time and mumbled something about "we should go soon." At 11:30 the servers were stacking the tables, so we took the hint and he walked me to my car, where we stood and talked for at least another 20 minutes. We're getting together Sunday evening; no definite plans yet, but he said he'd email me today and we'd work it out.

It was a really, really great date.

His name is Jason. He's 34. He's in school full-time, getting his Master's in Sports Management. He has the bluest eyes (and the biggest, most delicious arms) I've ever seen. He's funny and smart and we've got tons in common, but we also have enough differences to be interesting to one another. And he's surprising. He's a great big weightlifter dude, and his dog is a Corgi. He's kind of a computer nerd, but he's already signed up for the pig-wrestling contest at the Putnam County Fair next summer. He's a man of contrasts, and I really, really like that.

And he seems to really like me. I'm excited to see where this leads. :-)

Why do people insist on trying to talk theatre with me when I've made it clear that I rarely find it an interesting topic of conversation?

Bra shopping makes me homicidal.

Just wanted to share.

Seriously, I don't think it's possible for a July day to be any more perfect than this one. Not a cloud in the sky, not too hot, not too humid, with the softest cool breeze wafting through the window. This is a perfect bike-ride day if ever I saw one. So I'm going to go out, ride a bit, come home, shower, and plant myself on the couch with Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Or I might even grab my camp chair and park myself under a tree with my book. It really is gorgeous out there today.

I had another date on Friday; this one was much better than Tuesday's fiasco. I don't know if it was a love connection, but I do like the guy, I found him attractive, and we seemed to get along pretty well (and all his teeth were present and appropriately colored), so I think I'll see if he wants to get together again. There are a couple other guys I'm communicating with that I haven't met yet, and I'm particularly excited to meet one of them, so I'm not wanting to pursue anything too aggressively when I'm not quite sure yet how into him I am.

The running is still going. I'm trying to go out three times a week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings. I've also been contemplating going for a ride on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, and at least once through the weekend; I'm allowing myself plenty of flexibility, so it doesn't start to seem like a chore. This week will be a bit of a challenge, being that it's DK week, but it will be interesting to see how work will interfere with my motivation to exercise. It's going to be a pretty unusual week as far as DK goes, since I won't be working the whole week. So we'll see.

Anyway, I'm outta here. I'm going to ride, and then shower, and then read. Oh, and probably get some laundry going. That's definitely a to-do today.

Aren't I just the most interesting person in the WORLD?

Yep... it's definitely a full moon out there...

Today I went out and bought a pair of real-live, grown-up running shoes. I went to The Running Company, the cute little whippersnapper shop assistant put me on a treadmill to see what kind of feet I have, and I walked out with a shiny new budget-busting pair of Brooks shoes.

I don't know what has changed. I have never been a runner. I have two very big reasons for this, and they are situated about ten inches below my chin. But for the last several months, I have wished I could run without the embarrassment and discomfort of my giant knockers flapping in the breeze. Somewhere along the line, I got sick of that slowing me down. I did some shopping around online, found a reasonably-priced sports bra I think will work for me, and it's in the mail as we speak. I now have the shoes. I also went out this afternoon and bought a couple pairs of shorts and some tops. So... I'm just about ready to go. Tomorrow will be my inaugural run... pre-coffee. Coffee will be my reward. I want to start with a mile... not necessarily running that whole distance. I won't be discouraged if I have to walk part of it. But I'm going to look up some workouts online and start a genuine routine. I am motivated, even excited about it.

And I'm just tired of feeling like a fatass.

I would just like to say, when you need a little lift, there's nothing better than meeting a really gorgeous guy at a bar and making out with him in a shady corner by the state house for 45 minutes in the middle of the night.

It would be better if said guy didn't live in Texas, but oh well. I'll take what I can get.

I'm back. I apologize sincerely, to those of you who remember me and mourned my absence. I went through a period of time where I just didn't feel up to writing anything, although I did read my friends list every day. I wasn't in a very happy place, for various reasons, but I've been back up to speed for some time now, and it's time to get back on the El Jay pony.

So what's been going on? First off, my job search has been put on hold. I tried to get away from theatre, but I can't. I just can't. I went on a few interviews, and the interviews alone made me feel really, really icky. Like I was settling. So I'm holding out for something within the performing arts area. There's not a lot of that around Indianapolis, so it's a matter of biding my time until something opens up. I'm not ready to leave Indy yet. Maybe I'm shortchanging myself, but anyone who has a problem with that can suck a fart out of my ass. I'm doing what feels right for me at this time.

And anyway, I'm on summer vacation now. It's time to decompress and enjoy my life while it's mine to enjoy. I go back to work on September 14, and I have a whole lot of fun coming my way.

Let's see, what else... I'm doing the online dating thing. I've tried it before, with varying degrees of success, but I'm giving it another honest shot. I'm really effing tired of being single. I've had a couple dates, neither one was a love connection, but they weren't awful. I dunno... I really would rather not have to go on an active search for someone, but the whole "love will find you when you least expect it" bullshit wasn't really working, either. And I repeat--I am really effing tired of being single. But I also don't want to just latch onto the first dude that comes along. I'd rather be single than in a relationship that isn't right. So I'm approaching it with what I think is a pretty good attitude, and it's been fun so far.

Hm... I've been slowly restocking my Etsy shop. Nobody's buying my shit. I think I need to list a lot more frequently, to keep me towards the top of the page.

AND I HAVE A GARDEN. That's right, folks, my lovely apartment complex has allowed a group of us residents to dig up a patch of dirt in the ginormous backyard. It's a very small plot, and we each only get 32 square feet, but I will not complain. My lovely dad brought down a tractor and tiller yesterday. He's the best dad ever. Honestly, who puts a tractor on a trailer and hauls it 80 miles to, as he put it, "dig a driveway," just to save his daughter and a bunch of strangers the hassle of trying to chew through 70-year-old sod with a hand tiller? My daddy, that's who. It took him about half an hour, and he and Mom bought some of my garden tools and plants for me. So a tiny part of my dream has been fulfilled--I have my very own four-by-eight-foot patch of dirt. It contains two tomatoes (one full size, one grape), one bell pepper, one cucumber (which I'm going to train up a fence panel when it starts to spread out), one row of Swiss chard, and one row of green beans. Later in the summer, I will also plant a row of kohlrabi (it likes cooler weather). I also have a couple little zinnia starts I'll transplant when they get a little bigger--they'll help keep bugs off my plants. And they're pretty. As much as I love tomatoes, the plants ain't pretty. I wish we'd been able to do all this about a month ago, but that's okay. The last few years it's been so warm well into the fall, hopefully that will help extend the growing season a bit. And if our group proves to be responsible and our gardens are successful, maybe the complex will allow us to embiggen our plots next year. The yard is literally half a city block, and nobody ever uses it. There's very little reason for them to be so restrictive.

Anyway. So that's me, up to speed. Still living at Marcy, still in love with my apartment, still at IRT for the time being. And I promise not to go missing again.

So I've been applying for tons of jobs... I finally, FINALLY, heard back from someone asking for an interview.

Now, this is not one of my top choices of employers. I don't really know much (anything) about the company, but it seems like it might be a good fit for me. Either way, I'm not losing anything but an hour or so of my time, so I'm going to set up an interview and check it out.

Wish me luck.

I've sent out my first applications to a few jobs. Five? Six? I don't know, I've lost track. I have a headache and my chest is full of anxiety.

I am TERRIFIED. TERRIFIED. That I won't find anything. I don't want a job just to have a job. I HAVE a job. But I've managed to pinpoint one of my biggest complaints--it's the isolation. I like interacting with people, new people, and I rarely have that opportunity behind the scenes. (And I'm FUCKING POOR, but whatever.)

The problem is that I'm not qualified for a-ny-thing. I've never held a desk job. I've never worked in an office environment. I feel as if my experiences of the past will translate well to just about any kind of environment--but I have to convince others of that. And I'm very, very aware of the stiffness of the competition.

I just need to calm. Down. I still have a job. I'm smart, I'm adaptable, and I'm confident (most of the time). I'll find something.

In the meantime... no more anxiety, plz? Nellie no likey. :-(